Give A F**k

Hi Thanks again for all the comments and feedback from my my last newsletter where I talked about ‘shutting the f**k up’ and how listening to patients more helps you not only figure out what’s going on, but also helps build trust and respect.  However, getting good outcomes in rehab is not only about shutting the f**k up, its also about showing that you give a f**k about your patients problems.  So how can we do this?  Well, the best way to demonstrate you give a f**k is to… ACTAULLY give a f**k!  If you find yourself not caring about people or their problems, then I think it’s time to reflect and reconsider if this line of work is for you.  Now And Then  Don’t get me wrong… I think it’s perfectly ok to give less of a f**k here and there, now and then. In fact, I think it’s necessary for your own mental health and well-being. No one, and I do mean no one, can give 100% to 100% they see.  But if you find yourself giving less and less of a f**k to more and more of those you see then maybe its time to go into research or a managerial role like I see many clinicians doing. Or perhaps take a sabbatical or go and do something completely different for a while.  Either way don’t carry on working in healthcare if you don’t give a f**k about those you see.  But how you demonstrate that you give a f**k needs to be done carefully, because if it's not it can make things worse not better.  I often see and hear clinicians right royally f**king up giving a f**k by being way too sympathetic to a person’s problems.  Empathy NOT Sympathy  Patients find sympathy from healthcare professionals condescending, invalidating, and most importantly, not helpful (ref). So don’t do it. Instead, demonstrate more empathy.  Empathy involves trying to understand someone else’s situation. Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone.  Empathy is trying to walk a mile in someone's shoes. Sympathy is being sorry their feet hurt.   So empathy is often better received by patients, but I still think it can have some issues. I mean, how can you really understand what someone else is going through if you haven’t gone through it yourself?  Be Present  Personally, I think the best way to demonstrate you give a f**k is to be present and attentive as a person is speaking and give them signs that you are listening by making appropriate eye contact and gestures, just don’t make it too creepy or awkward.  Something else that can help is to mirror their body language. Matching another person’s body language, hand gestures, and even facial expressions can make people feel more comfortable and at ease with you (ref) Again, just dont go making it too creepy, but if they are sitting back in their chair, you do the same. If they have their hands together, then you do the same and so on! And finally, a great way to demonstrate that you give a f**k about someone else’s problems are simple acknowledging statements. Simple statements like “it sounds like it’s been a challenging time” or “its clearly been very painful for you” go a long long way in showing someone you've heard them and give a f**k. So there you go, demonstrating that you give a f**k doesn’t have to be complicated, fancy, or anything over the top, it just has to be done.  If you want more tips and advice like this on how to develop good working relationships with your patients as well as how to change minds and behaviour, check out my new online program called Rehab Essentials that does that and much much more… Until next time Stay Strong Adam